Tonight at Navs, I heard a story. It was a romantic story, so girls, hold on tight, and guys, take notes.
Rich and Christy met when they were 13. Rich thought Christy was beautiful, Christy thought Rich was annoying, but thankfully Rich grew up, and the two became best friends. In their senior year of high school, their friendship turned romantic. They started dating, and soon discussed getting married. The only problem was that, at the end of their senior year, they were both going to college...in two different areas of the country. Both of them agreed that they couldn't pursue a relationship without the approval of their parents, and Christy's Dad explained to them why he believed they were too young to be speaking about marriage. The couple decided to break up but "remain friends". For the first year of college, they kept talking to each other and "secretly dating" as they would hand-write letters to each other almost daily. After awhile, they realized that, although their feelings hadn't changed, they were not honoring the wishes of Christy's father. So Rich asked Christy for every letter he had ever written her and they completely broke off contact. Rich took all of the love letters they had shared, placed them in a box, and buried them in Christy's parents' front yard, all the while feeling as though he was burying any hope of ever being with the girl he loved. For two full years, Rich and Christy were out of contact--no talking, letters, visits, anything. But during their junior year of college, Christy went back home, and was talking with her parents, telling them that, even though all the time had passed, she still had feelings for her old best friend. Her parents prayed about it, and realized that the timing was right, and that the couple could and should be together. Christy's dad called Rich and told him that, if he so desired, he had their blessing to pursue Christy's heart once again. They started dating again, and for Christmas during their senior year of college, Rich celebrated the holidays with Christy and her family. For her Christmas present, he gave her a small maple tree to plant. She wasn't too excited about the gift, but when everyone convinced her to go plant the tree, she went along with it. Rich picked the place for her to plant the tree, and when she began digging up the earth, she struck the surface of the box containing all of their love letters from years before. When she opened the box, though, a brand new letter was at the top. Because when Rich buried the box, he added one letter to the mix, a letter that told her of his love and asked if she would marry him. He placed it in the box not knowing if she would ever read his proposal, but trusting that, someday, God would bring them together again. So 3 years after burying his proposal in uncertainty, Christy read his words of love, accepted his proposal, and the two married and lived happily ever after.
Being a girl, this story made me feel all mushy and happy inside. If you're a guy, you can never understand this. If you are a girl, you know where I'm coming from. We are hardwired to desire romance, to be touched by sweet things, to believe and hope and dream. When I made my bucket list, getting married was placed as my number one dream. It still is top of the list. But lately, I've been thinking...what if that isn't God's plan for my life? What if my number one dream isn't God's dream for me?
Before people start with the typical comments of "Oh, of COURSE you will get married! You love kids! You're pretty! You're fun!" etc etc etc...this train of thought doesn't just apply to the dream of marriage. I feel like a lot of times, we plan our lives from the beginning, and don't even seek God's desire for our dreams. We are content to stay with our easy path, going straight from school to career to love to retirement to death. Staying inside the box. Living the dream. But are our dreams really enough?
I've been thinking a lot lately about Amy Carmichael. I need a refresher on her story, but basically, she was born into a typical, run-of-the-mill Irish family in a time period where her goals in life probably were to marry, have babies, be a housewife, and dream about having blue eyes. Instead, she followed God' calling and became a missionary to India. She dedicated her life to serving the desolate people in a far away country, and her life left a lasting legacy on thousands of lives. Her life clearly broke the mold and changed the world. And it all started when she traded her typical dreams to follow God's dreams for her heart.
This may be a ramble, am I making sense? I've been realizing how adamently I do not want to fit the mold. I don't want to live the suburban typical average life of safety. I want to trade my dreams for God's dreams. If those dreams intersect, fine: if my dreams intersect His desires, He can use my dreams for His glory as well. But I don't want to fit my life into the pursuit of my dreams, and miss out on the dangerous, yet rewarding dreams that God wants to write into my life story. When I die, I want to stand before the throne and hear Him tell me "Well done, good and faithful servant." I want Him to tell me that I lived it like a song.
So will that song include marriage? Service in a place of safety? Being a mom and music therapist? Doing something completely outside of the box? All of the above? I'm not sure. But I will trust, and I will obey, and I will continue praying that He will fill my heart with His desires until there's nothing left of me. Because at the end of the day, His love song will be sung over me through eternity, and I know that nothing else will really matter.
