May 1:
Raining in the freezing rain, 13.1 miles all the way, worshipping along the journey! :)
May 2:
Seeing the beauty of the emerald Flint Hills
May 3:
Having Nicole to make me feel better on awful days
May 4:
The innocence of friendship and love witnessed at Natural Ties prom
May 5:
Being helped unexpectedly in my therapy session by Joann Hootz
May 6:
Friendship, sunshine, poetry, music...the list goes on, and the heart of life is good!
May 7:
Being surrounded by beautiful sisters-in-Christ, and having a productive day!
May 8:
Fabulous roommate date to KCMO!
May 9:
First afternoon to just sit in the sun!
May 10:
The sound of my parents' voices
May 11:
An hour between classes to finish Matthew in the sunshine
May 12:
An hour of friend-time with Bethany in the courtyard
May 13:
Open worshipping and joyous hearts with dear friends!
May 14:
Insanely productive day, and being almost finished with the semester!
May 15:
One last Sunday with several beloved friends
May 16:
Heather's friendship and Godly influence
May 17:
Done with math forever, hallelujah!
May 18:
I survived the semester!!!
May 19:
HOME
May 20:
The loyal, beautiful friendship of Shannon Nicole Hackney
May 21:
Blessed day with the family
May 22:
Blessed with worshippful songwriting/church service
May 23:
Restoration of friendships, and an afternoon with my best friend Alyssa Laura King
May 24:
eleven years of calling God "Father" and His protection from storms
May 25:
Restoration of old acquaintances
May 26:
Prayers by the lake
May 27:
Kyle's friendship, and our family's beautiful legacy
May 28:
Feeling so much as I remember who I am
May 29:
A short chat with an old high school friend
May 30:
Heart-revelations
May 31:
Kindness of the eye doctor's assistant
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Sunday, May 22, 2011
This is Home
Currently, I am sitting in my life-long bedroom, cooling down after a 5k run around my end of Purcell. The walls around me are still lime green from my painting spree at age 13, but the majority of the boxes I left here when I went to college are now gone and replaced by my array of instruments. I've been away to Kansas for two years, but I'm finally back in Purcell, Oklahoma for an extended amount of time.
It's weird, actually. For my entire first year of college, I never felt homesick and rarely tried to come home. It's not that home is bad, by any means, it was just that I felt that I was grown up enough to live on my own and not look back. Then, my sophomore year hit, and I started having a deep longing within my heart for the entire concept of "home". Maybe not necessarily the actual house on 846 W Apache where I have lived since I was born, but the little things that are synonymous with home.
Things such as: the foundation of faith and support that I feel all around me from my family and from the people of Sunray Baptist Church. The love that I see and feel from my family. The joy I get from getting to spend time with my Meemaw. Spending significant time in God's Word and getting that feeling that I love it more than anything else in the world. Getting to run along all my old trails and seeing familiar faces no matter where I go. Sitting with a heart-sister for an entire evening and rekindling our loving friendship. Being volunteered to do things in the community, and remembering how to interact with--and genuinely love--people. The simple beauty of watching my pets run around and be crazy, and thinking about how creative God is to give even these small animals personalities. The feeling of opening a book that is an "old friend" and getting lost once again. Sitting in my backyard, watching storms roll in, and spending an hour or more quietly in awe of God and His greatness. The list could continue indefinitely.
I've only been home for 3 full days so far, but I am already feeling myself changing. All the homesickness and lack of joy that hit me during the school year are returning in full force. I'm remembering who I am, and how absolutely beyond-blessed I am. I've started writing music again, and I've been spending each day doing as much as I can to seize the day. Most importantly, I have been filled over and over again with joy from my Savior, and I am just worshipping and hungering after more of Him. I'm no longer worried about the future, because I'm seeing how, if God loves me so much that He has blessed me with this beautiful life that takes my breath away, He will continue to provide in even more amazing ways, no matter where life takes me.
I don't know where the rest of the summer will lead, but I'm not expecting boredom to hit me. This is exactly where I am supposed to be, and I know that God will show me purpose and continue to draw me closer to His heart. And frankly, that sounds like a beautiful way to spend my summer vacation.
This is home, and I'm finally where I belong.
It's weird, actually. For my entire first year of college, I never felt homesick and rarely tried to come home. It's not that home is bad, by any means, it was just that I felt that I was grown up enough to live on my own and not look back. Then, my sophomore year hit, and I started having a deep longing within my heart for the entire concept of "home". Maybe not necessarily the actual house on 846 W Apache where I have lived since I was born, but the little things that are synonymous with home.
Things such as: the foundation of faith and support that I feel all around me from my family and from the people of Sunray Baptist Church. The love that I see and feel from my family. The joy I get from getting to spend time with my Meemaw. Spending significant time in God's Word and getting that feeling that I love it more than anything else in the world. Getting to run along all my old trails and seeing familiar faces no matter where I go. Sitting with a heart-sister for an entire evening and rekindling our loving friendship. Being volunteered to do things in the community, and remembering how to interact with--and genuinely love--people. The simple beauty of watching my pets run around and be crazy, and thinking about how creative God is to give even these small animals personalities. The feeling of opening a book that is an "old friend" and getting lost once again. Sitting in my backyard, watching storms roll in, and spending an hour or more quietly in awe of God and His greatness. The list could continue indefinitely.
I've only been home for 3 full days so far, but I am already feeling myself changing. All the homesickness and lack of joy that hit me during the school year are returning in full force. I'm remembering who I am, and how absolutely beyond-blessed I am. I've started writing music again, and I've been spending each day doing as much as I can to seize the day. Most importantly, I have been filled over and over again with joy from my Savior, and I am just worshipping and hungering after more of Him. I'm no longer worried about the future, because I'm seeing how, if God loves me so much that He has blessed me with this beautiful life that takes my breath away, He will continue to provide in even more amazing ways, no matter where life takes me.
I don't know where the rest of the summer will lead, but I'm not expecting boredom to hit me. This is exactly where I am supposed to be, and I know that God will show me purpose and continue to draw me closer to His heart. And frankly, that sounds like a beautiful way to spend my summer vacation.
This is home, and I'm finally where I belong.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
One Year of Gratitude: April
April 1: Dorky times with friends :)
April 2: Beyond-beautiful day, and God heart-stirrings
April 3: Laying on my porch, listening to hallelujahs, and watching the storm roll in
April 4: The love amongst the Bandies
April 5: Witnessing the most beautiful evening sky I have ever seen that compelled me to worship
April 6: Beautiful day with lots of God-time :)
April 7: An evening for errands!
April 8: Dr. Clair's advice to "stand in the hammock"
April 9: Refreshing lunch talk with Kim and Melissa Hill
April 10: Getting elected to the MWRAMTAS board and setting my 10-song quiz-out!
April 11: Winning the MEMT scholarship, and reflections on love
April 12: Pounding heart while running
April 13: The beauty and heart of folk music, and gaining my Dad's ability to discern random, beautiful things
April 14: Music that brings people together, and kind, understanding professors
April 15: Friend-date with Alex, and movies that advocate for music therapy!
April 16: A day all alone and a morning with God
April 17: Good friends from church
April 18: Stimulating God-conversations
April 19: Long phone call with Tyler
April 20: Unexpected rambles with Bethany
April 21: Getting to talk with all my family members
April 22: Having the sun emerge just in time for a run
April 23: Blessed by so many wonderful people in my life!
April 24: The beauty and endurance of the Bible
April 25: Thunderstorm to end a grey day
April 26: Everyone who got sick today in Murphy is doing better
April 27: Beautiful piano music in theory
April 28: Professors, employees, and friends that make school "worth it"
April 29: The beauty of coming home!
April 30: Wonderful day spent with Tyler :)
April 2: Beyond-beautiful day, and God heart-stirrings
April 3: Laying on my porch, listening to hallelujahs, and watching the storm roll in
April 4: The love amongst the Bandies
April 5: Witnessing the most beautiful evening sky I have ever seen that compelled me to worship
April 6: Beautiful day with lots of God-time :)
April 7: An evening for errands!
April 8: Dr. Clair's advice to "stand in the hammock"
April 9: Refreshing lunch talk with Kim and Melissa Hill
April 10: Getting elected to the MWRAMTAS board and setting my 10-song quiz-out!
April 11: Winning the MEMT scholarship, and reflections on love
April 12: Pounding heart while running
April 13: The beauty and heart of folk music, and gaining my Dad's ability to discern random, beautiful things
April 14: Music that brings people together, and kind, understanding professors
April 15: Friend-date with Alex, and movies that advocate for music therapy!
April 16: A day all alone and a morning with God
April 17: Good friends from church
April 18: Stimulating God-conversations
April 19: Long phone call with Tyler
April 20: Unexpected rambles with Bethany
April 21: Getting to talk with all my family members
April 22: Having the sun emerge just in time for a run
April 23: Blessed by so many wonderful people in my life!
April 24: The beauty and endurance of the Bible
April 25: Thunderstorm to end a grey day
April 26: Everyone who got sick today in Murphy is doing better
April 27: Beautiful piano music in theory
April 28: Professors, employees, and friends that make school "worth it"
April 29: The beauty of coming home!
April 30: Wonderful day spent with Tyler :)
Saturday, April 2, 2011
One Year of Gratitude: March
March 1: The thought of God talking to Abram at night under the stars, correlating with my mental image of the Lion King
March 2: The easy going friendship/roommate-ness shared with Nicole
March 3: Professors like Mr. Powell and Dr. Paul who actually make me want to be better
March 4: Tyler, Matt, Bethany, and Alex :)
March 5: A day with the guys :)
March 6: Twenty years of breathing and heart-beating with hope for my next years :)
March 7: Nicole is back home!
March 8: Being made so that my soul is dying of thirst
March 9: 7 months of roommate-ness and concert experiences!
March 10: Understanding and compassion :)
March 11: Silly times with the heart-sisters
March 12: Strong relationships with my family
March 13: Being covered in love by Purcell people
March 14: Contemplations over Genesis 46: 2-4
March 15: Chelsea Gallagher, and knowing I'm not alone in therapy
March 16: Refreshed about school!
March 17: A day of warmth, encouragement, and therapy :)
March 18: 6 mile run and sunshine!
March 19: New(ish) hair!
March 20: Safe and sane trip to Houston, and peace from a beautiful sunset
March 21: The beautiful things happening at Rise School
March 22: I performed my first-ever therapy session!
March 23: Watching a risky session come together beautifully!
March 24: Veronica Butler and her willingness to let us practice therapy and learn
March 25: Wes Powell and Jenny Hardesty
March 26: Reflecting on the wonderful people in my life the whole way home :)
March 27: Nicole and I are both home!
March 28: Having 2 wonderful college besties!
March 29: Planning college with Dr. Colwell
March 30: Strength not to stress
March 31: Evening to breathe
March 2: The easy going friendship/roommate-ness shared with Nicole
March 3: Professors like Mr. Powell and Dr. Paul who actually make me want to be better
March 4: Tyler, Matt, Bethany, and Alex :)
March 5: A day with the guys :)
March 6: Twenty years of breathing and heart-beating with hope for my next years :)
March 7: Nicole is back home!
March 8: Being made so that my soul is dying of thirst
March 9: 7 months of roommate-ness and concert experiences!
March 10: Understanding and compassion :)
March 11: Silly times with the heart-sisters
March 12: Strong relationships with my family
March 13: Being covered in love by Purcell people
March 14: Contemplations over Genesis 46: 2-4
March 15: Chelsea Gallagher, and knowing I'm not alone in therapy
March 16: Refreshed about school!
March 17: A day of warmth, encouragement, and therapy :)
March 18: 6 mile run and sunshine!
March 19: New(ish) hair!
March 20: Safe and sane trip to Houston, and peace from a beautiful sunset
March 21: The beautiful things happening at Rise School
March 22: I performed my first-ever therapy session!
March 23: Watching a risky session come together beautifully!
March 24: Veronica Butler and her willingness to let us practice therapy and learn
March 25: Wes Powell and Jenny Hardesty
March 26: Reflecting on the wonderful people in my life the whole way home :)
March 27: Nicole and I are both home!
March 28: Having 2 wonderful college besties!
March 29: Planning college with Dr. Colwell
March 30: Strength not to stress
March 31: Evening to breathe
Friday, March 18, 2011
A Month's Worth of God-Thoughts
It's been awhile since I have written anything on here. Life has been busy! But in the busyness, there have been some really cool God-moments that have touched my heart. At the end of February, I finished reading through the Bible again and started back at Genesis. As I started re-reading, I tried to keep a clear mind and read as though I was a child reading the stories for the first time. It's been an interesting tactic. I've been seeing the Bible with new wonder and appreciation for the simple things contained within the pages. Two Genesis stories in particular jumped out at me and stayed with me, allowing my mind to just ruminate on them, for the entire month. The first story is found in Genesis 15. The Katie-summary of the story is as follows: God visits Abram late at night and claims that He is Abram's reward, and nothing else is needed. Abram replies with questions as to his lack of a successor of his inheritance, as his wife is barren. God replies by taking Abram out to look at the stars covering the sky, and promises Abram that his descendants will be as numerous as the night-lights. I think of how deeply special this story would be to the Israelite nation who originally read this story, since they were the inheritance mentioned. I think of how deeply touched they would be by this historical account of God's faithfulness that led to their very existence. The thing that stuck with me the most, though, was thinking about this story from Abram's perspective. I just imagine the feelings within Abram as he went out to the edge of his camp to look up at the stars and talk with his Father. The excitement of a conversation with his Creator, paired with the frustration he felt that life wasn't turning out as he had planned. I imagine him just sitting out in a pasture, looking up into the vastness of God's creation. I imagine him and God just simply talking, a father to a son. For a more accurate description of what I imagine, think of that one scene in the Lion King where Simba is looking up into the sky and talking to Sky-Mufasa. I know, stupid. But the thought of this intimacy, this all-powerful, ever-loving God....it touches my heart and makes my heart thirsty for more of this God. On a totally unrelated story, my second "deep thought" came from Genesis 46: 2-4. I had always known that the Israelite nation ended up in Egypt because of Joseph's placement there, and after staying there for several generations of captivity, they were freed and returned to their promised land. I had always assumed that since this story included such a horrible story of oppression that the Israelites had disobeyed God in their movement to Egypt and were punished accordingly. But in the above mentioned passage, it says: "Then God spoke to Israel in the visions of the night, and said, "Jacob, Jacob!" And he said, "Here I am." So He said, "I am God, the God of your father; do not fear to go down to Egypt, for I will make a great nation of you there. I will go with you down to Egypt, and I will also surely bring you up again."" Reading this made me struggle with my thoughts for a day or two. How could a God who loved His people so much allow them to be put in a situation that would lead to pain, heartache, captivity, oppression? Why was He so slow to rush in and save the day? I think the answer goes back to the overall answer: Because God is God, and everything that happens is for His glory and praise. Yes, the people were oppressed and broken, but God used that brokenness to draw them closer to Him, and to perform miracles never imagined to show them how deep His love truly was. The way that God rushed in to save the day left people talking everywhere, for centuries and beyond, and His ways of miracles provided a foundation of faith and trust in His faithfulness towards those who love Him. The fact that God willingly allowed bad things to provide things so much better is another thing that is too beautiful for me to wrap my mind around. My explanations behind these two stories might not even make sense. Let's just leave it at the fact that my God is an awesome, all-powerful, ever-loving, "Hero-with-a-sense-of-chivalry" kind of God, and I stand in amazement. May Your wonders never cease!
Monday, February 28, 2011
One Year of Gratitude--February
February 1, 2011
Staying safe and warm from the storm
February 2
A day of reading and rest and fresh, albeit cold, air
February 3
Friendship with Xiao and her insistence to "not let me walk in the cold and dark alone" :)
February 4
Unashamed music of the heart
February 5
Being a member of the Sigma Alpha Iota sisterhood
February 6
"Christ is Risen" by Matt Maher :)
February 7
Getting to talk with Dad on the phone after a long time of only e-mails!
February 8
God's protection while driving in the sudden snow
February 9
Long convos with Nicole after an awful day
February 10
Having a normal, neutral day with no February blues
February 11
Beautiful music that makes you happy to be alive :)
February 12
Breakfast with Dad! :)
February 13
Long phone calls that make warm, perfect days even better :)
February 14
Single Ladies' Party actually worked!!!!!!!
February 15
The books of Jonah and Philippians
February 16
Waking to a foggy pink morning and the song "Praise Adonai"
February 17
Talking with someone who is passionate for God
February 18
God's protection over my extended family
February 19
A day of conscious worship :)
February 20
Warmth, running, and awareness of my beating heart while watching storm clouds roll in
February 21
Bethany survived her allergic reaction!
February 22
Being reminded of why I chose my major
February 23
Worship time on my porch after classes
February 24
God pushed my truck out of the icy road and into safety!
February 25
Spreading the love of music to beginning musicians
February 26
Kim Davidson's friendship and Joshua Radin's voice!
February 27
Walking through a thunderstorm :)
February 28
A rare, awesome-at-horn day, and Dr. Paul's kindness
Staying safe and warm from the storm
February 2
A day of reading and rest and fresh, albeit cold, air
February 3
Friendship with Xiao and her insistence to "not let me walk in the cold and dark alone" :)
February 4
Unashamed music of the heart
February 5
Being a member of the Sigma Alpha Iota sisterhood
February 6
"Christ is Risen" by Matt Maher :)
February 7
Getting to talk with Dad on the phone after a long time of only e-mails!
February 8
God's protection while driving in the sudden snow
February 9
Long convos with Nicole after an awful day
February 10
Having a normal, neutral day with no February blues
February 11
Beautiful music that makes you happy to be alive :)
February 12
Breakfast with Dad! :)
February 13
Long phone calls that make warm, perfect days even better :)
February 14
Single Ladies' Party actually worked!!!!!!!
February 15
The books of Jonah and Philippians
February 16
Waking to a foggy pink morning and the song "Praise Adonai"
February 17
Talking with someone who is passionate for God
February 18
God's protection over my extended family
February 19
A day of conscious worship :)
February 20
Warmth, running, and awareness of my beating heart while watching storm clouds roll in
February 21
Bethany survived her allergic reaction!
February 22
Being reminded of why I chose my major
February 23
Worship time on my porch after classes
February 24
God pushed my truck out of the icy road and into safety!
February 25
Spreading the love of music to beginning musicians
February 26
Kim Davidson's friendship and Joshua Radin's voice!
February 27
Walking through a thunderstorm :)
February 28
A rare, awesome-at-horn day, and Dr. Paul's kindness
Friday, February 4, 2011
Throw Down Your Heart
I'm not usually one to write reviews over movies that I have seen, but tonight I saw Bela Fleck's documentary "Throw Down Your Heart", and my mind is about to explode from how perfect the film was. The basis of the film was the journey of Bela Fleck, acclaimed banjo-player. He travelled to four African countries to trace the origins of the banjo and immerse himself in the culture of music that Africa is famous for.
Honestly, I couldn't stop smiling through the entire thing. The universiality of music, and the way that Fleck could so easily communicate with people via the language of music blew my mind, making me once again grateful that I am dedicating my life to a career that uses this universal language. The second thing that touched my heart while watching was seeing the beautiful people of these nations come together to interact through music in their daily lives. So often, we are afraid to even hum in front of people, but these people were unashamed to belt out their songs and join together with their villages in celebration of life on a daily basis. They have never had any formal training beyond the traditions of family members who hand down their instruments, yet their voices and musical abilities blow my mind in their simplistic beauty. Which also made me think about why I love African music in the first place. In Revelation 7:9, it says "I looked and behold, a great multitude which no one could number, of all nations, tribes, peoples, and tongues, standing before the throne...crying and singing "blessing and glory"!" When I hear this beautiful music, these songs that come as a result of cries from broken souls, I am positively heartbroken, yet thrilled at the same time, thinking of how they find reason to rejoice, even in their hardships, and how beautiful the sound will be when this continent known for oppression will be freed from their bondage and will take up the sound of rejoicing....even now, just thinking about it I am getting chills!
So, yes. I'm not sure where this ramble went. Go watch the documentary and allow your heart to be touched in a million ways as mine was touched tonight.
Honestly, I couldn't stop smiling through the entire thing. The universiality of music, and the way that Fleck could so easily communicate with people via the language of music blew my mind, making me once again grateful that I am dedicating my life to a career that uses this universal language. The second thing that touched my heart while watching was seeing the beautiful people of these nations come together to interact through music in their daily lives. So often, we are afraid to even hum in front of people, but these people were unashamed to belt out their songs and join together with their villages in celebration of life on a daily basis. They have never had any formal training beyond the traditions of family members who hand down their instruments, yet their voices and musical abilities blow my mind in their simplistic beauty. Which also made me think about why I love African music in the first place. In Revelation 7:9, it says "I looked and behold, a great multitude which no one could number, of all nations, tribes, peoples, and tongues, standing before the throne...crying and singing "blessing and glory"!" When I hear this beautiful music, these songs that come as a result of cries from broken souls, I am positively heartbroken, yet thrilled at the same time, thinking of how they find reason to rejoice, even in their hardships, and how beautiful the sound will be when this continent known for oppression will be freed from their bondage and will take up the sound of rejoicing....even now, just thinking about it I am getting chills!
So, yes. I'm not sure where this ramble went. Go watch the documentary and allow your heart to be touched in a million ways as mine was touched tonight.
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