But....God.....

But.....God.....

(A Heavenly Conversation as I Imagined It Might Occur While Driving)

Katie: God.....I don't really want to go back to Iowa.

God: Why is that?

Katie: Well, I guess it's just that being in Iowa kinda hurts.

God: Just 7 months ago, weren't you begging Me for the door to that exact internship to be opened?

Katie: Well, yes.....but Iowa was never in my original plan!

God:  I know, daughter. You were kicking against the goads when the seed of the idea of Iowa was planted in your mind. Eventually you started asking that My will be done, all the while hoping that My will correlated with your comfort and staying where you were. But as you prayed, I started replacing your dreams with My own plans for you. You may have wanted to remain comfortable, but My plan was for you to move and grow in ways you still can't fully see. Hasn't My faithfulness led you to places beyond your wildest imagination before? Haven't I remained faithful even now?

Katie: Well, yes. I guess You're right. Sorry for being so stubborn.

God: My grace is sufficient to cover you.

Katie: But....God...I mean, I get all that, but being in Iowa still hurts.

God: How so?

Katie: These past 3 weeks have been really emotionally tough. My apartment is in constant need of maintenance requests. I've had friends hurting and making poor life choices. The pastor of my Kansas church ran away. I had a patient die in my session. I'm working with babies in the NICU that, although they are receiving services now, probably won't be cared for when they leave the hospital. I feel like there are so many things wrong, and I'm too small to fix anything.

God: Daughter, it's not your job to fix anyone or anything. That's My job to bring redemption and to fix broken hearts. All you can do is show compassion to those you encounter, and to place your trust in Me.

Katie: But God.....I'm not always the most loving or gracious person to others.

God: My grace is sufficient to cover you. Let yourself allow Me to love others through you, because I loved you first.

Katie: I guess that makes sense. But God....another reason that Iowa hurts......I'm so alone.

God: Daughter, you have so many people who love and care for you. And on top of that, I am the Creator of the universe. Even though you are poor and weak, I think of you. I have engraved you on the palms of My hands; you are Mine. And I will never leave you nor forsake you. You may be lonely, but you are never alone.

Katie: Well, that is encouraging. But God....one more thing. I mean....I am lonely. And I mainly miss Michael, and my friends from Kansas. It just doesn't seem fair that I have to leave them so often. Why did You send me to a place where I am so lonely?

God: I have called you in this season of life to solitude and learning more and more how to depend on Me. Basically this is a time where I am growing you to be more like Me, where I have pulled you out of your comfort zone for a purpose.

Katie: You know....I have been wanting more of You lately. And I have had a few times where I've woken up in the middle of the night with praise songs on my heart.

God: You wouldn't be calling to Me if I hadn't first called out to you. I love you, and I will do whatever it takes to shape you to be more like Me. Now, daughter....are you going to continue trying to lean on your own understanding? Or are you going to place your trust in Me and let Me guide and provide in this growing season of your life?

Oh Son of David, I want to see.