I Am Still Running: Thoughts During My Race and Lessons Learned on the Way

Today I ran my first ever race. Back in junior high, I had hip problems and wasn't able to run until I'd stopped growing, at the least. When I reached the age of 16, I started running short distances behind my church or at the lake, though never doing anything serious. In my senior year of high school, I made a list of 100 Things to do Before I Die. I added "running a half marathon" to the list, but nothing was really done to achieve that goal. It was one of those "someday I will" things, and I expected to wait until I was older or something.

Enter this past January. The first two months of every year have been unusually difficult for me, for various reasons of problems and the lack of sun (and presence of cold). This winter was the hardest one yet. It was too cold to function, I missed my family and friends that I had been around for a month during winter break, and to top the misery cake, someone that I cared a lot for just disappeared from my life. I felt very alone, very hurt, and very in-need of constant God-time. So, with no other ideas, I went to the rec and started running. I didn't run much at first--usually only two miles or so while I listened to sermons and worship music on my ipod. As my loneliness and overall sadness from winter increased, so did my mileage. Soon I was running 3--5 miles every day. Running felt good and gave me a time in which I didn't have to think and only had to listen. Then in the beginning of February, a woman in my Bible study mentioned the Lynn Electric Kansas Marathon. I chewed on the idea for a bit before I heard Gabrielle and Kristen talking about signing up during lunch one Sunday. I got the information needed from them and, with nothing to lose, registered for my first half marathon. What followed was a strict training schedule and lots of life lessons learned between January and today, which will be addressed at the bottom of this blog. As I trained, I grew stronger physically and emotionally, and when my weekly runs faded into rests for the big day, I knew that I was ready to conquer this long 13.1 mile race. The following paragraph sections will display my thoughts during the race, and my thoughts on the lessons I've learned from January till now.

My Thoughts During the Race on 4/18/2010
Pre-race: I'm going to make a playlist just for this race! It will include john mellencamp, the first taylor swift cd, and chris rice. All mellow people that I love to listen to while I run!
Starting line: Maybe this won't be so bad! There's a lot of people here. And I have no doubt I'm ready!
Mile 1: (Up Naismith Drive and onto campus) This is awesome! I am actually running a half marathon! Ahhh! And I am about to conquer the hill of Naismith Drive!
Mile 2: I should not be feeling like I'm ready to quit. I'm only to Daisy Hill, and there is a long road ahead of me...
Mile 3: There's Heather, she's here to take pictures and cheer us on! So blessed to have amazing friends, and remembering the road that God led me on in meeting my friends...I can do this.
Mile 4--5: This is a breeze. I am so grateful for the ability to run and enjoy this beautiful day!
Mile 6: Shoe came untied. Bend while running to tuck it in my shoe. I am NOT stopping for anything...even when I reach a water station, I will just grab it and pour it into my mouth while I run. No quitting.
Mile 7: The Valley of Death. A mile-stretch through nothing-ness by the lake. Gives me time to think about how this race is no longer about the sadness that started my running--it's now about a passion to run and endure
Mile 8: Back on the road! Saw Gabby at the turnaround!
Mile 9: Legs starting to tingle. Ignoring the sensation
Mile 10: This is the farthest I've ever run in my life! Even though I'm slower than I would like...I'm going to do this!
Mile 11: *to the William Tell overture* Gotta pee gotta pee gotta pee pee pee! Followed by a hill from hell...literally.
Mile 12: One more mile to go! Heather cheers me on and I pick up the pace for the last 1.1 mile!
Mile 13: As soon as I see the finish line, I start to cry from joy. I did it! What I had once thought impossible had become reality!
Final time: 2:17.32

And now...

Love is a Marathon: Lessons Learned on the Journey
(in order of realization)

The times when we feel most alone are the times where God can tell us the most.

Don't take life so seriously. If it's not a heart in a cooler, then it's just not that big of a deal.

No matter how cold life may seem...the sun is guaranteed to always shine again.

Best friends are those people who can hold your hand from a different state and help you heal by praying for you and texting you stupid random conversations all day, every day to keep your mind off the fact that your phone isn't being inhabited by texts from someone else (special thanks to Alyssa, Ty, and the rest of the buddies for this one).

God can use us in the lives of others even if we feel we are un-usable.

The greatest thing in life is realizing that people we used to know as strangers are suddenly very dear, irreplacable heart friends (thanks bethany and alex :)

Another great thing is realizing that the people you've prayed to be friends with treasure your friendship as well (thanks morgan and kristi :)

God gives us church-sisters to listen to our stories, help us through understanding heart matters, and having picnics on warm spring days (thanks heather :)

When things seem as though they will never work out, God provides a way and sends your future roommate directly to you. Things are even better when you spend time with that roommate on a mission trip and realize you are eerily similar and actually look forward to the future with a roommate (thanks nicole :)

You know you are blessed with the world's best pesudo-sisters when they brave the Flint Hills to make your birthday special (thanks again loves :)

Life is more fun when it's hectic ;)

It's okay to run through a rainstorm. Really.

Sundresses are a girl's best friend because they allow you to feel summery and happy!

Don't care about what others think. Go lay in the grass and take pictures of the spring day.

Sometimes, God puts people in our lives to give us a change of perspective.

Even when a guy seems to be the epitome of all a girl could want, and even seems like a real life Todd Johnson....doesn't mean that there will be any feeling behind the perfect appearance. Love isn't about finding the "perfect guy".

Lakes are meant for deep personal reflection.

I have been given various guiding stars in my life that I didn't even recognize until I look back on my life now (thanks Mrs. C and Mrs. Hale :)

All my life, people would tell me that "someday the guys will be chasing after you!" I always laughed this off. I am the invisible one, always on the fringe of people's memory. But lately, guys have been noticing me. Please don't think this is vanity on my part...it's a shocking truth. I'm starting to realize that all the years of me wondering why guys only saw me as one of them was a blessing, not a curse.

While guys have finally realized that I am a girl, I realize that none of them have a chance because I'm still not over another guy.

And with the above statement, just recently I have begun to realize: I believe in redemption. I believe in miracles. I believe in a God-written biography. I believe that every question mark has an exclamation point. And I believe in hoping and dreaming even when things seem futile.

Lastly...

I believe in endurance. I believe in faith. And I believe in love.