This is Home

Currently, I am sitting in my life-long bedroom, cooling down after a 5k run around my end of Purcell. The walls around me are still lime green from my painting spree at age 13, but the majority of the boxes I left here when I went to college are now gone and replaced by my array of instruments. I've been away to Kansas for two years, but I'm finally back in Purcell, Oklahoma for an extended amount of time.

It's weird, actually. For my entire first year of college, I never felt homesick and rarely tried to come home. It's not that home is bad, by any means, it was just that I felt that I was grown up enough to live on my own and not look back. Then, my sophomore year hit, and I started having a deep longing within my heart for the entire concept of "home". Maybe not necessarily the actual house on 846 W Apache where I have lived since I was born, but the little things that are synonymous with home.

Things such as: the foundation of faith and support that I feel all around me from my family and from the people of Sunray Baptist Church. The love that I see and feel from my family. The joy I get from getting to spend time with my Meemaw. Spending significant time in God's Word and getting that feeling that I love it more than anything else in the world. Getting to run along all my old trails and seeing familiar faces no matter where I go. Sitting with a heart-sister for an entire evening and rekindling our loving friendship. Being volunteered to do things in the community, and remembering how to interact with--and genuinely love--people. The simple beauty of watching my pets run around and be crazy, and thinking about how creative God is to give even these small animals personalities. The feeling of opening a book that is an "old friend" and getting lost once again. Sitting in my backyard, watching storms roll in, and spending an hour or more quietly in awe of God and His greatness. The list could continue indefinitely.

I've only been home for 3 full days so far, but I am already feeling myself changing. All the homesickness and lack of joy that hit me during the school year are returning in full force. I'm remembering who I am, and how absolutely beyond-blessed I am. I've started writing music again, and I've been spending each day doing as much as I can to seize the day. Most importantly, I have been filled over and over again with joy from my Savior, and I am just worshipping and hungering after more of Him. I'm no longer worried about the future, because I'm seeing how, if God loves me so much that He has blessed me with this beautiful life that takes my breath away, He will continue to provide in even more amazing ways, no matter where life takes me.

I don't know where the rest of the summer will lead, but I'm not expecting boredom to hit me. This is exactly where I am supposed to be, and I know that God will show me purpose and continue to draw me closer to His heart. And frankly, that sounds like a beautiful way to spend my summer vacation.

This is home, and I'm finally where I belong.