Wait

Like most people in the United States of America, I have serious troubles with the inevitable waiting periods that spring up in our lives.

Waiting at stoplights.
Waiting in lines.
Waiting for friends.
Waiting to go somewhere.
Waiting to eat.
Waiting for our computers to load.
Etc, etc, etc.

I have gotten better in my patience for items such as the above (well....still struggling with stoplight patience). But waiting for actual important things, waiting for direction in where to go in life...not good at patience there AT ALL. I have always struggled with summer, because I tend to feel like it is always a lull in life, a mundane in-between for the larger events of life.

Currently, it is summer. And currently, I am waiting.

I can't even explain it, but I feel like I'm about to die from restlessness. Nothing in the present time is concrete. All of my plans are currently resting on future events.

Do I follow through with taking this summer class? Not sure; have to wait for my financial aid report to come back and reveal whether or not I can afford summer education.

Do I apply for more jobs, or did I get the ideal School of Music job I applied for and (hopefully) am overtly-qualified to get? Not sure; have to wait to be told whether or not I was hired.

Do I go home right now, like I'm really wanting to? I can't; waiting for a meeting I signed up to attend on Thursday.

What am I supposed to sing at this concert next weekend? Do I sing my own songs which are my praise songs to the Father, or do I sing the hymns that are beautiful, but not as personal?

Then there are more obscure questions:

If God gave me the "Ok" to be in Lawrence this summer, why am I feeling so homesick for Purcell, where I would be apart from my church family and would spend the summer doing nothing more than I am already doing?

Why does *a certain person* keep appearing in my life when I have tried so hard to let him go? Is this God, or my own stubborn will?

Why am I still waiting for one of my best guy friends to return to our normal friendship?

Am I going to be accepted into MDA camp? More appropriately, why is it so difficult to volunteer this year when my heart belongs to individuals affected by MD?


These are just a few of my struggles with patience. I am currently frustrated, restless, in need of a good cry, in need of a good hug, and just wanting to find rest. That's another thing to wait for: the day when I will finally see my Maker face-to-face and will be able to stay focused on Him alone for eternity.