Missing You

Saturday, 12/11/10

Thank You for this morning, for my warm bed as the wind rages outside...thank You for giving me a fresh perspective on an old Bible story yesterday that stayed with me all day. I finished John, and reading made me really sympathetic with the disciples. They were probably just teenagers when called--young and curious about the new adventures presented by this Rabbi Jesus...so they followed. Did they know how drastically their lives would change? Did they fully realize the cost of following? Did they expect to fall passionately in love with their Teacher as they realized more and more how He truly was "I AM", Messiah, and the One who had breathed life into their souls and formed them deep enough to dream? In several instances of the Bible, various disciples have "aha" moments where their vision is made a little clearer as they discern more about their Beloved. (What a wonderful concept! Please continue filling my life with those "aha" moments; may Your wonders never cease!)

The part of John that really broke my heart for the disciples came after the crucifixion. I can't imagine their devastation as everything they believed in came crumbling down at a time when their lives were most endangered. On the opposite side, I can't imagine how close-to-bursting they felt when the veil was finally lifted from their understanding and they saw the resurrected Christ in their midst. How joyful the would be to see Him throughout the next month and feel complete adoration for their friend as He spoke their names, ate breakfast with them, laughed with the,...

Then, I think of Jesus ascending. What a bittersweet moment for the disciples! They got to see Him fulfilling all He had promised, but...I feel as though His absence would have broken their hearts, filled their very souls with longing. The One they loved had returned to heaven, and though they knew He was living, they must have had the most severe case of homesickness ever known to humanity as they desired the presence of their Teacher and the yet-unseen face of the Father...

Just imagining their homesickness breaks my heart and makes me absolutely desperate to see Your face. I know You are here with me, but when do I get to be with You? I know that this homesickness I feel is Your way of telling me this world is not where I belong, and that You have a better place for me. Until the day I can be there with You, keep my homesickness alive, and help me to fall more deeply in love with You as You reveal Yourself more and more to my heart...