The warm, friendly, perfect facade of college ended exactly a week after I moved in, thanks to a drunk girl who climbed into my bed at 5 am.
No, seriously. You read that right. A drunk girl got into my room, went through mine and my roommate's stuff, puked in our trashcan, and then got into bed with me.Welcome to college, eh?
Despite the social downsides, college truly is amazing. I get to take all music classes (well, with an english class), and all the classes are interesting to me! Intro to Music Therapy had me in tears the first day because the description of the job is so perfect in contrast with what I want in my life! I have opportunity to do a TON of service projects that tie into my major! The campus is all uphill, so I get an amazing workout everyday, and I'm already building muscles! haha :) But after classes end, Satan does his best to dampen my mood and discourage me from my calling.
I live in an all-girls dorm, most of whom are in sororities. Nothing against sorority girls, but it's not exactly my style of life. The other day, I walked into the lobby with my horn, and the desk worker screamed "THANK YOU for carrying something more intellectual than a Prada bag in here!" Pretty funny stuff. Also, we have an AMAZING grand piano in our lobby, and I often go down to play hymns or work on stuff I brought with me. It's amazing the number of girls who come in, stare at me for a while, then say, "Oh my gosh can you play piano?!?" Obviously, I'm a little different than the girls in my dormitory. And not knowing anyone, well... it gets pretty lonely after a couple of days. But every time that I get so discouraged or frustrated in my alone-ness...God ALWAYS intervenes and provides exactly what I need!
For example: Last Wednesday=worst day ever. Late for rehearsal. Had a piano placement meeting I forgot about and had to skip lunch for. Took the piano placement, didn't pass out of the class. Horn auditions seemed to go bad. Tired of being treated like I was invisible from upperclassmen and sorority girls. Started laundry, didn't have change, had to walk a mile to get to the change machine, which was broken. Finally found change, trudged back to the laundry room. Started my load, called my parents to calm down. Talking to them, and a girl walks into the laundry room. Carry on my convo, and when I hung up, she said: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but are you a Christian?" Seems she had heard me talking about God and church. She, too, was a Christian, and had come to the laundry room because she was feeling discouraged about the lack of believers at college and needed time to think. She had prayed, like I had, that she could find just one believer here. And we "just happened" to meet in the laundry room. If that's not proof that God knows what we need when we need it, I don't know what is.
And despite these obvious proofs of God's love and care for me, I still feel the pang of loneliness or fear almost daily. It's definitely a struggle. But in these times of loneliness and fear, God reveals Himself to me even more. I've learned that my job in this life is to spread His love to others. Due to this obvious revelation, I am learning to outwardly show joy no matter the circumstances and to consciously think about whether or not others would see Christ in my actions and manner. In doing this, I have begun to see every person as a soul, not just a person. I admit, when the drunk girl climbed into my bed and woke me up at 5 am, my first reaction wasn't a loving, Godly reaction. But within a few moments, I realized "this girl is loved by God just as much as I am". That realization made it easier to forgive and give compassion. I'm not trying to sound boastful or "holier-than-thou". I'm just amazed at how God can change a person's perspective in one short little week.But while the transformation in my heart is being a tedious, often painful process, I am learning to lean on God, for He always provides! When things get dark, He uses the love of my friends and family to strengthen me! It never fails. I'll be discouraged, and Whitney will comment something encouraging on my status. I'll be fighting panic over the workload, and Mrs. C will text to ask how the day is and give advice. I'll be all alone and wondering where to go, and one of The Buddies will call, text, or just be there to talk on the phone with me. Many others offer support or even a smile from the web or through a letter. And my parents have been there with every single phone call to offer advice and support. In addition to this home-base support, God has led me to an AWESOME church that I truly believe will become my home, and has introduced me to CRU. And in those times when the above support is not immediately available, I go to my Lord in prayer and study His word. He has not yet failed to provide comfort and insight, and I know He will not fail in these areas. Since I've been at college, I've read the book of Isaiah. I suggest you read it, but basically, it's the most beautiful story of love from a God to His creation. He knows of the trials of life, for He knows everything. But through whatever life sends our way, He is still there loving us and drawing us back to Him! I know the loneliness will fade, the fear will dissipate, and at the end God will still be the constant in my life, holding me to Him and saying, "Remember! I carried you through."So I endure. I trust Him with my life. I know that this is where He has called me, and the most beautiful story imaginable waits at the end of this road; I stand in anticipation to see what He is going to do! Great is His faithfulness, mercies new every morning!
With this being said, I will wrap this up. Thank you for your love, your support, even for reading all the way to the end of this. I love and appreciate you so much! May His glory be revealed to you in your lives, too!
Katie
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